Eiyuu Kishi Den

Z wrote:I'm bored...so I'm posting some stuff from the old board...sort of to save memories, and to boost member post counts.

Hi there, Rory here.

I decided to shed some light on the subject of Alm's mind. It's a real struggle trying to play such a scatterbrained character, as I am very collected...most of the time. Sometimes I have my blonde moments, but don't we all?

So why is Alm so messed up?

Simple, I decided at creation to make a very humourous (yes I'm Canadian, how can you tell, the spelling?) character. This meant disregarding my many other ideas to create a stern character with hints of a dark humour. So, instead of creating my original concept I became a simple grassrunner. Now, if anyone hates Maar more than me, I'd give them a medal, but as it is...I am 3000% anti-Maar. I despise Maar with every bone, sinew and so on and so forth of my body and future bodies to come. Alm is a direct result of this hatred of Maar and his super-chipper backstabbing thieving lying...the list goes on...So, as it stood, I made Alm my scatterbrained, half-planning grassrunner. The idea of a grassrunner berserker also went through my head, but I laughed so hard I nearly passed out. So, the broken minded Alm was born. At times he can be a little serious, at times a little silly, but mostly he's just there to have fun...and the secondary reason is to procreate. To spawn an evil half-grassrunner army of darkness to take over Lodoss...at least...that's one of his many objectives.

Alm: Psychological study of a character

Four words: One messed up kid.

To elaborate, the loss of his younger and older brothers to tragic accidents has made poor little Alm to live for his brothers. His older brother had concerned himself with the simple pleasures of life: eating, drinking, being merry. His younger brother was more innocent and naive, preferring to cuddle and be adorable. The real Alm, the TRUE Alm, is the one who actually remembers events and is not the one that screams and runs up trees. He's also not the one who hits on Anisa; the real Alm is best described as a semi-heroic and true to his friends, no matter how small the quantity of friends he has. The other two "personalities" of Alm makes him do things he wouldn't normally. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing has yet to be seen.

Alm's nightmares?

Alm has nightmares, terrible ones, consisting of things his twisted little mind could comprise. The dead rise from the ground, his entrails being eaten, fire scorching the earth and making the living dead into the burning dead. All things consumed by fire and death, the night never ending.

This would scare most people, but for Alm it's torture. The guilt of being unable to help his two brothers while being in the midst of both when they died makes Alm punish himself with these dreams, never truly ending even when he wakes up. The terrible thoughts that occupy the real Alm's mind are enough to cage him while personality one or personality two takes over.

The other side: Alm's creator

I don't like talking about myself very much, but maybe it'll help with the character study of Alm, so I decided to put this section in. Whether this hits the light of day or gets deleted, it doesn't matter.

Now, there are many scary things that are in Lodoss, Berserkers, Werewolves, Goblins, Orcs, Ogres...dragons...magic, undead. These things can be really scary in movies, books and even in the game for the character. But there are scarier things in real life, things we ignore or look at with shock and awe, trying not to come into direct contact with.

A lot of people in the world are afflicted with some type of mental illness or another. I for instance, am schizophrenic, but I take medication to limit the effects of the disease on my every day dealings. While this helps out a little with my problems, there are still many things the medication cannot help with. Somethings are some of the delusions I have, whether my skin is crawling on me, or light brushes of wind in a still room against my cheek. Though I'm taking medication for depression as well, I have a hard time making myself leave the comfort of my bed to just even start the day. I have a hard time to even leave the house when I have to.

Perhaps that is the reason I wanted to make Alm the way he is. To vent some demons and shed some light on the subject of mental illness even if it is just a little side note about Alm's quirkiness. To say that mental illness didn't exist in Lodoss is a crock. Berserkers are only berserkers because they cannot deal with their own demons and let the spirit of Hyuri into them. That is a lot like some cases of people who have split personalities and one of those personalities is very violent. Most things in Earth's history as well as the history of Lodoss was once explained with magic or spirits. Perhaps the idea of mental illness has no place or bearing in the world of Lodoss, if so, I retract my statement fully and apologise to all those I have offended.

What does the future hold for Alm?

Alm, as a whole character, is one who moves like the wind, seeking some amount of rest from his problems before he wanders off in search of more problems to pile onto himself. He's very self-abusive, which is very apparent from the time he slit open his own side to gain sympathy from Anisa and the others. So what does the future hold for Alm? That's really too hard a question to answer, Alm is chaotic, and as such, chaos is eventually where the character will be lead to.

So, in conclusion...that's it. I hope this gave people some insight into Alm, and if not...oh well. Have a nice day.

Very insightful!

I definitely like to get into my character's minds and mental illnesses are a very important part of personalities. A lot of people have some little mental problem to a degree, whether inherited or inflicted. I'm bi-polar and I have anxiety, it's not as bad as schizophrenia, but it isn't easy either. I'm terrified of situations where I don't know what to do. I was frozen in fear when I had to take a placement test to get into school. I skipped my first appointment because it took twenty minutes to get out of my chair, and the only reason I did get up was because I realized it was too late to make it. It's kept me from finding a job for years, that and the fact that I usually start thinking "Why would they want to hire a high school drop out with no work experience when they can probably find someone who does?"

And then with the bi-polar disorder, I'm so easily aggravated. Usually it's little things, like doing chores, or using the computer, and something doesn't go my way and I just get hit with this overwhelming anger. It's gotten worse as I get older. I feel all this anger built up in me for no real reason. I'm not passive aggressive, I'm actually quite forthright when someone does something that upsets me, either that, or I release it some how.

There are two major facets of my personality, or at least the strongest two, and the whole of me falls somewhere in the middle. I have a conscience that seems so wise, that guides me and keeps me grounded, and always sees the bigger picture. No matter how completely and utterly depressed I've gotten, even when I felt suicidal, that part of me had always kept me two steps away from the edge.

The other side is so much stupid anger (no one is particularly smart when angry, which is why I say stupid). This is the side of me that always wants to be in the right, whether I am or not (and often not when this side rears it's ugly head). I get angry at inanimate objects and people who are in the vicinity because I can. I don't think I can explain it to get my point across, but it's overwhelming and happens far too often.

Anisa is really an extension of that angry side. She does what she wants, says what she wants, and prefers to be right about it. We saw a little of that when Fenix admonished her by saying that ruin hunting on Marmo was dangerous. She was proven wrong and it pissed her the fuck off. She's not all that bright either, not stupid, but no zen master.

Now I've gone and got distracted...oh...shiny object!

I totally understand where you're coming from. When I was younger I was really passive until I hit puberty then, low and behold, I was a totally different person. Now many may pass off the rest as bullshit, but frankly it's totally true. I was never too upset when things didn't go my way. I grew up in a household of five children, believe me, very few things go my way. The problem was that I wasn't overly talkative and I had a lot of trouble explaining what I meant out mostly because my self esteem was so low that I only ever mumbled. When I got angry I kept it pent up inside until I got that tickle of rage in me that I guiltily gave into. Though my conscience was always there, it was a lot like it looked the other way when I was mad and then scolded me afterward because it could.

When I was ten I was suicidal and actually hung myself, but the rope broke. I was very sore, but too badly hurt, I recovered and all things went somewhat well. Things continued to build up in me though, dark, angry thoughts, but I dispelled them with a happy face and a mask to cover the pain. Sometimes I couldn't and that's when the other me got control. I remember one time when I was in Grade 9 I chased a kid around a classroom with a desk uplifted in one hand over my head. 4'9", 87 lbs, little Rory was devastating....(and short haha). Regardless, the same kid almost lost his head when I threw a rock at him and it PUNCTURED the steel door behind where his head was.

That's not the only time that my anger has gotten me into trouble. When you have siblings you tend to get a little angry at them at times, I was in one instance and nearly knocked my sister's head off, she ducked and I put my hand through the wood and drywall above the light switch. Another time I lifted a 250 lb guy off his feet a good foot by his throat. So yeah, we all have anger issues. Some of us more than others. Me, I'm good though. I hardly get angry and when I do I suppress it and let it build...oh wait that was the problem in the first case!!

The things adrenaline can do...

Blake's gone berserk before, in fact, that's how he fights, because that's how far you have to push him before he fights. For that reason, he doesn't like to get angry so he keeps a tight handle on his temper and learns to let things go.

I've never gone that far, maybe because I don't really let it build. I hold back enough to keep from breaking my hand on a wall (or face, or anything else hard). The worst I've done is smash a few mirrors, stab some walls, throw stuff, and beat the hell out of my bedroom door.

Of course, the bedroom door was funny looking back. It's really flimsy, just a thin pair of panels on a frame. I started kicking it, and I became determined to smash a hole in it on the corner of my desk that it was hitting, and it wouldn't. Then I went in my room and started kicking it from the other side....and it got stuck in the door jam. So, to get out, I had to pull it back as far as I could, which was the bottom half, and barely squeezed out. I couldn't kick it back in, so I went to find a screwdriver, squeezed back into my room and took it off the hinges. Now one panel is barely hanging on by the doorknob and I have to adjust it every time I shut it. Hehe...it's so funny now.

Haha...been there, done that. I kicked in a door once because my sister was trapped in the room behind it. Little did I know she was just playing with some of her friends. I thought she was in real trouble and oopsies....hehe...

So, I guess after the psychoanalysis of little Alm, I guess the next thing to do is try to work out some of the other demons hidden away in my closet. Hmm...nope...they're still too dark...haha

Anyways, the best thing for people to do is let their anger vent in creative ways, if not that way, try to smash your hand with a cinder block, because if you try the other way around you will most likely smash your hand anyways so just do it the proper way and expect the pain.

Other good ways of relieving stress are to think of the grossest thing you've eaten and ask someone online to beat it. Speaking of which....ugh...memories of grossness....

Ok, so I hate Kiwis...and most other fruit...especially bananas and cherries (mostly because they'll kill me). So...hmm...Alm with Allergies....that might be interesting...too bad there's no such thing as antihistamines in Lodoss...

Eww....I know you have almost everyone beat when it comes to things you've eaten.

What do you mean Jess? I'm sure people have eaten FAR worse stuff that I have...ugh...the sickness....

Yes, but not many.

And probably not in this group.

About the character insight: Very cool. I have kind of a range with my characters right now but none of them are really out of the general mold. >_>

Hmm... I have never in my life been violent but I think thats because I'm a passive aggressive type, or something. I've been in plenty of situations that should make me react in such a way. My reaction is more to blank out, and pretend like its not happening until it goes away.

The worst thing I ever ate... actually drank. Some orange juice went bad, so much that it had matured and fizzing like beer. I thought someone had simply made spiked punch (me stupeeed) so I took a big gulp. It was the most awful thing I have ever tasted. I'm sure you can beat that easily though, its just the worst thats happened to me.

random topics = fun ^^

Thank you for your compliments and your story. I enjoy writing and most of the time I place a lot of myself in a character, or try to at least. I spent the better part of an hour last night trying to figure out the best way to draw little Alm, but then gave up and drew Midau instead.

Gross stuff eaten...well, for the PG-13 crowd: I ate a chocolate truffle cake once that was about a week expired....that was gross...my roommate ate the rest though, so I guess I'm not alone in that regard.

The list continues once again:
My mother made a potato salad and substituted mustard powder for mustard. The result was the worst potato salad ever (and my sudden aversion to mustard as well)
I made a grand spaghetti sauce consisting of lotsa meat and veggies...it would have been fine IF I didn't throw the mushrooms in...they made it way too tart and it sat in our fridge and rotted...
Kiwis. That's all I have to say there.
Expired Soya Milk. Why? I didn't notice the off smell...it ALWAYS smells off to me.
Ethyl Alcohol...tasted like shit, threw up in the bathroom.
worms...I was THREE.
There's more...it's just too horrific and graphic to recount...hehe...(ick)

I can't really think of the worst thing I've eaten. My memory having gone to crap and all....the worst I can think of is sugar ants, then feta cheese because it tastes like sugar ants.

Blake's mom's cooking is pretty bad too.

Blake and his friends drank a mixture of all the foodstuffs they could find tossed in a blender that was horrendous, so I hear. Ah, boys and their dares.